I feel stuck.
The economy in America is bad and the violence in Mexico is worse.
My dreams of living in Mexico are overshadowed by the constant killings and lack of Government control in Mexico. Over control in America.
I do have hope. Mexicans have felt stuck for hundreds of years. Stuck with oppressive Governments and Rulers. They finally rise up and over come the bad guys. But will it happen again? Will it happen for America too? The bad guys lose the battle, but they usually raise an army for another war.
I am nearly 50 and my back hurts. I don't feel stuck with that, just an observation and a possible metaphor about feeling stuck. I get stuck in bed in the morning not being able to move because of the back pain.
Fear never stops me, but until lately, I was young enough to recover from financial folly. It is more important today at 49 that I weigh my decisions more carefully. Hence why I feel stuck.
I always weigh the pros and cons and come to a rational decision. But I don't know if I have true information or if it is just fear and lies.
Something random. I was stung by a bee while driving my motorcycle last week. I have thought that I am allergic to bees. There were no shoulders to pull over so I had to power through the pain and fear of going into shock. 30 minutes later, I was fine. Yes, the sting still hurt like crazy, but I was breathing and riding.
Was God sending me a message? To be sceptical of what people have told me? (both of my parents are allergic to bees) To stay focused, driven and believing in His power; and that I do not have to fear.
Arizona has never been home.
It was never meant to be home.
Only a way point on our journey from Alaska to Mexico.
When we moved from Alaska to Arizona we owned a beautiful ocean front lot in Troncones, GRO Mexico. Our house plans had been approved by the local officials and the funds were ready to go. Then we made a critical decision to sell to the owners of the neighboring lot and invest the funds here in Arizona. Both proved to be good moves financially, but when things fell apart here in AZ in 2006 and we got stuck.
Last night I dreamt of a huge snake that was threatening my kids and cats. It was coiled under my office chair. I have never feared snakes. I respect them, but I always catch and release. Venomous or not, they are all treated the same. In my dream, a huge rattle snake grabbed my cat Gordy by the head. I wrestled my cat from the snake and spoke words of healing over him. Gordy immediately stopped spasming and walked away. I then snatched the snake from behind it's head and put him in a bucket and capped it with a top. Dream over.
I woke up with a back ache, went outside in the beautiful morning and admired my new Lady Bank's Roses. They are vigorous climbers and do not have thorns, so I wont get... stuck.
I totally believe God is working in me concerning this issue. Yeah God! I so want to move to Mexico.